The Hero:
What makes for a good hero in a story? Superpowers? Big Muscles? An awesome costume or cool gadgets? While Superman, Thor, and James Bond are interesting heroes, it actually isn’t any of those things that make a character a hero. Donald Miller notes that often heroes at the beginning of their story or quest are fragile, unskilled, perhaps even selfish or lack confidence. The point is that heroes at the beginning of the journey are actually not ready for the tasks ahead. Think of Indiana Jones for instance, often considered one of the best heroes in Hollywood, he is knowledgeable and pretty good with a whip, but he is constantly getting out of sticky situations by the skin of his teeth. He is constantly in way over his head and running for his life from a giant boulder or bad guys. He is terrified of snakes, and often has to improvise because his plan doesn’t go the way he thought it would. The point is that heroes like Indiana Jones, or Frodo Baggins are not ready at the outset to complete their mission, they gain skills along the way including courage, honesty, and ability to work with others in order to accomplish their goals. And that goal, that thing they are searching for has be valuable and full of meaning. Whether it is saving the city from destruction, or not letting the Nazi’s have the Ark of the Covenant to dominate Europe, or something more personal such as not letting the girl marry the jerk, (Wedding Crashers), the hero has to want something that is both difficult and important. No one wants to watch a movie about a person who wakes up, wants an ice cream sandwich, goes to the freezer and gets one, role credits…That story actually doesn’t have a lot of meaning in it. There’s no challenge, no call to grow or transform, and no real payoff for accomplishing the feat. The point is, every hero doesn’t have to save the world from aliens or a super villain, but the heroic journey does involve working hard to get something difficult that may or may not come to fruition.
Heroes often come from challenging upbringings that are incorporated into their hero’s journey. Whether it is Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, or Clark Kent, all of whom lost parents and loved ones, or even Indiana Jones who had an estranged relationship to his father many heroes come from difficult upbringings or some sort of early childhood traumas. What these heroes choose to do is respond to these difficulties with a sense of purpose to make the world a better place so that others do not have to experience the same evils they endured. “A hero wants something in life and is willing to accept challenges in order to transform into the person capable of getting what they want” Miller states. And that is part of the point of following the hero, they are not who they need to be at the outset, they aren’t ready for the responsibility of marriage, or strong enough to fight the villain at the beginning but through trials, failures, little courageous decisions along the way and help from others they become ready.
Miller describes the process of transformation this way: “heroic transformation begins when the hero takes responsibility for their life and for their story. The hero becomes the hero only when they decide to accept the facts of their life and respond with courage.” Now when we get right down to it, this sounds an awful lot like good therapy. Whether it is ACT, CBT, or other modalities, in order to get better we first have to honest about who we are and what we are facing. We are asked to accept life as it is rather than languishing in the throes of wishing for what isn’t starts the hero’s journey. Even in EMDR, where we process past traumas, the goal is not to erase the memory of the traumatic event, but to change our relationship to it, where we no longer have negative beliefs about ourselves because of the event. It’s a way of accepting what has happened and ownership that allows you to choose a different path that is not dictated by that event. When you look at your life as it currently stands, assessing life accurately, we can then choose courage, choose to face challenges well despite the dangers or fears that come with it. This is not to downplay or diminish those fears or threats because they are often very real. Whether it is fighting the alien force, or more realistically standing up to a verbally abusive person in our life, there is a real threat there. The point is the hero accepts what is, takes ownership and responsibility for how they are going to respond to the theat. And by taking ownership over their attitudes and choices, a hero begins to live on purpose, for a purpose.
One thing to be cautious of as you consider your journey is to assume the story is all about you or you are the focal point of the story. We can be the hero in our own story, but we should do so with a perspective that goes beyond ourselves. We may be the hero in our own story, but our story is a part of a much larger, greater story. If we lose sight of this truth, we can veer into villain territory, wanting to remake the universe to fit ourselves or arrogantly assume the world revolves around us.
In what ways are you living with intention, on purpose for a purpose? How might your life change if you were able to begin making choices that moved you in a direction with intentionality in your career, with your friends or family, or in your hobbies, your finances, or physical health? How do you think your life would feel if you woke up knowing you were working towards something meaningful? I don’t imagine all your problems would go away, it sure doesn’t for most heroes. In fact, taking up the hero’s journey often means getting into more difficult situations are harder circumstances, but it is done for a reason, it is done with a worthwhile goal in mind. Take some time to consider how meaningful your end goals are right now. What kind of story are you living and are you making decisions to become more heroic, to accept the call and grow in the name of something greater than yourself?