In a recent post I discussed the the P’s that can make it harder for someone to be resilient. Today I want to briefly share a helpful framework you can use in order to work through a challenging event. It comes from the school of psychology known as CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The model is known as the ABC’s of CBT. It goes as follows:
A: “Activating event”
This is the event itself, perhaps you lost your job, a romantic relationship ends, or you get a poor performance review from work.
B: “Belief”
This is the crucial step that many of us skip over. This is the moment where we interpret the event that has happened through deeply held beliefs we have about the world and ourselves. These beliefs are developed through long held stories that we tell ourselves and perhaps were even told to us by others. This could be a belief that you are not very good at something, a belief that you will never live up to your potential, or that the world has it out for you.
Your belief though is the framework through which you see the world. And these beliefs can be the root cause of the 3 P’s. If you believe the world has it out for you than you might interpret your current challenge as a never-ending one.
C: Consequences.
Beliefs have consequences. They influence how you feel, what you think, and do. They can heighten anxiety and trigger a biological response that includes increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and frantic thinking. These consequences can also lead one to be more likely to give up, because if this challenge is not going to stop, then why bother pressing onward?
This framework is helpful however, because it also shows that your current interpretation of an event and really all of life must be that way. In therapy, we can analyze and discuss those long held beliefs and stories, and empower you to tell a new story, one that reflects who you want to be and how you want to live.