Philosophical Foundations: Why I don’t do what I know is good for me sometimes A key idea that the self-control advocates out there make (whether or not they use this language) is to understand and differentiate first order desires from second order desires. Basically, this is a way to think about how we can have […]
Thoughts
Discipline, Virtue, and Addiction Part I
The Problem and Modern Solution. “I really want that cookie” (I say to myself), “No I don’t. I want to stay away from desserts for now”. How many of us have struggled between various desires in our lives? Part of me really wants that cookie, the other part of me wants to stay disciplined and […]
Understanding our Emotions
What is an emotion anyway? Modern psychologists have offered several theories to explain what exactly qualifies as an emotion. While we all have them it can be difficult to define what an emotion is without having to use a placeholder, like “feeling” to describe the emotion. A general modern consensus however is that emotions are […]
Good Stress?
For many of us we go through periods of life that are more stressful than others. Maybe that is due to struggles at work, a health issue, a relationship on the rocks, the loss of a loved one…You get the point. There are all kinds of things in our lives that produce stress. But not […]
Worrying Pt. II: What to do
In the last post we looked at the nature of worrying and why we might find ourselves worrying about all kinds of different things. At the end of the day, worrying often comes down to a form of avoidance that keeps our attention from honestly engaging with the deeper concern. We noted that certain thought […]
Worry, Worry, Worry and what to do about it
Worrying is a behavior like other things we do and it is something we’ve learned to do it over time. This learned behavior has happened through a combination of having worrying modeled for us, and positive reinforcement, meaning when we worried we got a response or consequence that is desirable. Now most people who struggle […]
Believing in the New You: How to think about starting new habits
I recently wrote about the challenges with building and sustaining new habits back on December 12th. In that post which you can read here (https://theexaminedlifecounseling.com/why-starting-new-habits-is-hard-and-what-to-do-about-it/) I discussed how our habits are tied into our larger identity and to that end, the story we tell ourselves. I recommended James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, in which he […]
A Better Me in 2023: New Year’s Resolutions and Changing habits
For many of us the New Year brings with it possibilities of what can be different, better than last year. Many have grown up with New Year’s resolutions, eating better, spending more time with family, curbing unwanted or unhealthy habits, or in general just trying to improve the quality of our lives. If you’ve looked […]
Echo Chambers, Toxic People, and Counterfeit Community
Growing concerns have mounted over recent years as our life styles’ and technology have allowed us to live in ever more protected echo chambers. Many of us are familiar of this concept, getting our news, conversations, information, and interactions with people who think like we do, all the while distancing ourselves from those who live […]
How to do “self-care” better
Self-care has garnered a great deal of attention these days, as it seems we are all living in increasing stressful times. When I hear people talk about self-care however, I often wonder if those talking about self-care actually know what that entails. It doesn’t often consist of personal indulgences, eating ice cream and binge watching […]