In the 2004 movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the main character Joel (played by Jim Carrey) finds out that his girlfriend has undergone a procedure to have all her memories of him erased after the two get into an argument and break up. Realizing she no longer knows him and looking for a […]
Problem Solving Therapy
When faced with a problem what is the first thing you do? For some whether it is in the business world or personal life, we might set a goal. For some we have learned how to use the SMART goals system. SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. The point of the acronym […]
The Apocalypse of Sport
When most people hear the word “apocalypse” they may think the end of the world, fire and brimstone, plagues, warfare and all kinds of destruction. But the word, which is Greek, actually means to pull back or reveal. The beauty of sport and competition is that for many of us, it is a place where […]
Discipline, Virtue, and Addiction Part III
Addiction: Disease, Moral Failing, or something else? In previous posts I’ve discussed a major challenge we face in today’s society, namely how to navigate the overwhelming access to easy short-lived pleasures that actually work against our long-term happiness. These choices often highjack our pursuit, pleasure and reward circuits in the brain and our bodies compensate […]
Discipline, Virtue, and Addiction Part II
Philosophical Foundations: Why I don’t do what I know is good for me sometimes A key idea that the self-control advocates out there make (whether or not they use this language) is to understand and differentiate first order desires from second order desires. Basically, this is a way to think about how we can have […]
Discipline, Virtue, and Addiction Part I
The Problem and Modern Solution. “I really want that cookie” (I say to myself), “No I don’t. I want to stay away from desserts for now”. How many of us have struggled between various desires in our lives? Part of me really wants that cookie, the other part of me wants to stay disciplined and […]
Understanding our Emotions
What is an emotion anyway? Modern psychologists have offered several theories to explain what exactly qualifies as an emotion. While we all have them it can be difficult to define what an emotion is without having to use a placeholder, like “feeling” to describe the emotion. A general modern consensus however is that emotions are […]
Good Stress?
For many of us we go through periods of life that are more stressful than others. Maybe that is due to struggles at work, a health issue, a relationship on the rocks, the loss of a loved one…You get the point. There are all kinds of things in our lives that produce stress. But not […]
Worrying Pt. II: What to do
In the last post we looked at the nature of worrying and why we might find ourselves worrying about all kinds of different things. At the end of the day, worrying often comes down to a form of avoidance that keeps our attention from honestly engaging with the deeper concern. We noted that certain thought […]
Worry, Worry, Worry and what to do about it
Worrying is a behavior like other things we do and it is something we’ve learned to do it over time. This learned behavior has happened through a combination of having worrying modeled for us, and positive reinforcement, meaning when we worried we got a response or consequence that is desirable. Now most people who struggle […]